2 realizations

1. you'll never feel anything as intense with anyone else.
2. it's still not enough.
   

the first 11th of the year

i wish you had let me go back when i could still walk away.

it's been four years since that day that intertwined our fate.

peace be with you

when i am dead and gone.

mixed signals

your lips speak of another
but your eyes, they linger...

she who has ears, let her hear.

it's your life.
i can't decide for you.

i said my piece.
if you can't listen,
there no use talking.

let folly seduce you.
but let me have no part in it.

ohana means...

you. <3

P's

Pride causes Pain.

Pride is the cost of Peace.

Mad Season

I feel stupid - but I know it won't last for long
I've been guessing - and I coulda been guessin' wrong
You don't know me now
I kinda thought that you should somehow
Does that whole mad season got ya down?

Well I feel stupid, but it's something that comes and goes
I've been changin' - I think it's funny how no one knows
We don't talk about the little things that we do without
When that whole mad season comes around

So why you gotta stand there
Looking like the answer now?
It seems to me you'd come around
I need you now
Do you think you can cope?
You figured me out - that I'm lost and I'm hopeless
I'm bleeding and broken, though I've never spoken
I come undone in this mad season

I feel stupid, but I think I been catchin' on
I feel ugly, but I know I still turn you on
You've grown colder now, torn apart, angry, turned around
Will that whole mad season knock you down?

So are you gonna stand there
Are you gonna help me out?
We need to be together now
I need you now
Do you think you can cope?
You figured me out - that I'm lost and I'm hopeless
I'm bleeding and broken, though I've never spoken
I come undone in this mad season

And now I'm cryin'
Isn't that what you want?
And I'm tryin' to live my life on my own
But I won't, no,
At times I do believe I am strong
So someone tell me why, why, why
Do I, I, I feel stupid
And I come undone
And I come undone

I need you now
Do you think you can cope?
You figured me out - that I'm lost and I'm hopeless
I'm bleeding and broken though I've never spoken

Well I need you now
Do you think you can cope?
You figured me out - I'm a child and I'm hopeless
I'm bleeding and broken though I've never spoken
I come undone
I come undone in this mad season

In this mad season
It's been a mad season
Been a mad season

[Matchbox 20]

puking spree

puke.

puke.

puke.

knowledge vs wisdom (a repost)

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. ~ Max Lucado

two questions

1. are you willing to fight for a person who's not willing to fight for you?
2. are you afraid to lose him?

fork in the road

you said you wanted us to make decisions independently.
come soon before they whisk me away.
and if they did, would you be willing to wait
or would you ask me to stay?

moving

who knows? my new home might be around here. :)

invisible

but not to you.

stark

a picture of loneliness
a soul split into pieces
a mirror of myself

down there somewhere

is the man who loves me as much as he does his life.

if only he could remember...

Who Am I To Say

Love of my life, my soulmate
You're my best friend
Part of me like breathing
Now half of me is left

Don't know anything at all
Who am I to say you love me
I don't know anything at all
And who am I to say you need me

Color me blue I'm lost in you
Don't know why I'm still waiting
Many moons have come and gone
Don't know why I'm still searching

Don't know anything at all
And who am I to say you love me
I don't know anything at all
And who am I to say you need me

Now you're a song I love to sing
Never thought it feels so free
Now I know what's meant to be
And that's okay with me

But who am I to say you love me
And who am I to say you need me
And who am I to say you love me

I don't know anything at all
And who am I to say you love me
I don't know anything at all
And who am I to say you need me
I don't know anything at all

I don't know anything at all
I don't know anything at all
I don't know anything at all

[Hope]

happiness and i

will we ever meet?

over and over and over and over

i beg you to stay away from her
then you'd make the same broken promise
and my plea falls on deaf ears.

helpless

is how i feel.

the 7-habit book claims that i have power over my reactions.

tell that to someone who couldn't get out of bed.

wanted to cry over breakfast in the afternoon at the peak of my headache and weakness.

went to three repair shops, two of which offered a free check-up. the third required me to leave my phone with them for a week or two. so i went back to the second one, they offered a 50-50 chance of repairing my grounded phone. they said they'll either fix it or destroy it for good. prayed for faith and took the risk. they couldn't fix it, but they somehow did not end up destroying it. praise God i am not without a phone!

i got soaked to the skin last monday since i forgot to bring my umbrella. been feeling sick since. but today was the worst.

it isn't all in the mind when your body can no longer fight.

my comfort is this:

i can do all things through Him who gives me strength.

so i march on.